When I was given the info on anesthesia I really had to talk to God. 1 out of 250,000 people doesn't make it just because of the anesthesia! I got to thinking that there had to be at least that many people who had surgery in a day. What if Brent was the one who didn't make it?
When I got an unexpected call from the operating room a half hour into the surgery, my heart and chest constricted and it was hard to breathe normally. The nurse was just calling to say the operation was on its way - something I already knew because of the computer screen in the room. I joked that they almost had a cardiac patient! And I thanked the Lord that Brent was okay.
In my mind, I had to keep giving my sweet husband to the Lord and pray for the grace to trust God with Brent's life. To trust God for the grace for the moment. And I had to remind myself that God would not give me the grace ahead of time for what might happen - He promises grace for the moment. The future is not mine and I am not to borrow its worries nor can I borrow its grace - His grace is sufficient. Sufficient for the moment - like manna, it cannot be stored. It is given fresh each day. There is no "Grace bank" - I cannot borrow from tomorrow's stores. I just need to trust God in the moment and cast my cares on Him, trusting that I can face, with Him, whatever He allows!
Oh, how I know He is sufficient - to rest in that - to not only KNOW it, but to live moment by moment like I BELIEVE it!
Thankfully, after more than double the time that the operation was to take, Brent was finished and sent to recovery. I waited for over 4 hours to get word that the operation was complete. A lot of time to pray and talk with others in the waiting room. I had my Bible with me, and had a wonderful time listening to the comfort from my Father. One of the places I read was in Joshua about courage - oh, how I love that Book!
Brent is doing quite well and I am so thankful! How I thank the Lord for the grace for today - for not leaving me alone - for walking with Me and guiding me - and for caring enough to tell me to cast my cares (big and small) on Him because He truly cares for me. No "How are you doing?" without a true desire to know - He really wants to know me, to know how I am doing and listen to me - and He also wants me to listen to Him.
Oh to be faithful with this day that He has entrusted me with - to shine for Him in all I say and do - "God, my dear heavenly Father, please use me!"
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
My Parents are visiting - I am blessed
My dear parents are here right now and we are having a blessed time. How I thank the Lord for them. They are so real, yet love the Lord with their whole heart. They have given their lives in full service for the Lord ever since I was four and it hasn't always been a picnic! They are my heroes in the Lord and I thank the Lord for blessing me with them as my parents. I wish they were my neighbors on this earth, but since that isn't possible I have asked the Lord to let me have the mansion next to theirs in heaven.
I am thankful the Lord takes my fragile, human heart and listens to my thoughts. When I pray the mansion prayer to Him I feel a gentle hug. And then the words come to me. This is what I imagine God says to me when I cry to Him with a heart that misses my dear parents, "It is okay, my child, I know you love the wonderful parents I blessed you with and I know, too, that you love Me. Right now you have chosen to serve Me, even though that means going to the ends of the earth and far from your parents. It hurts and it is okay to hurt - cast your cares upon Me - I care! When you get to heaven, my dear, darling, beautiful child, your focus will be 100% where it should be. You will be perfected and your focus will be 100% on Me. You won't care, then, who your neighbor is, but I love you and I love to hear from you. Thanks for talking to Me and thanks for being still long enough to listen to my thoughts. I love you, Hollie. It will be worth it all some day. I, too, left my Father - I know your pain. It was worth it - it bought Me YOU! The world needs Me, Hollie, and the only way for them to know Me is if faithful people who know the truth will GO into all the world. Follow in my footsteps - I am your Savior and Friend, Jesus. I will be with you - ALWAYS!"
You know, I really want to be used of the Lord, but I am so human! I am so thankful that God uses ordinary people to do His extraordinary work. He just asks me to be a vessel He can flow through. He doesn't ask me to be extraordinary so He can use me! It isn't always easy, to be sure, but He is always there to enable me to do His bidding. He never asks me to do something He isn't going to give me the strength and ability to accomplish! With the example of His sacrifice and His obedience I can keep on keeping on until His return, even when it involves personal discomfort or inner pain.
Please pray for me, that I will rely on the Lord and rest in Him, allowing Him to use me.
May He come quickly!
I am thankful the Lord takes my fragile, human heart and listens to my thoughts. When I pray the mansion prayer to Him I feel a gentle hug. And then the words come to me. This is what I imagine God says to me when I cry to Him with a heart that misses my dear parents, "It is okay, my child, I know you love the wonderful parents I blessed you with and I know, too, that you love Me. Right now you have chosen to serve Me, even though that means going to the ends of the earth and far from your parents. It hurts and it is okay to hurt - cast your cares upon Me - I care! When you get to heaven, my dear, darling, beautiful child, your focus will be 100% where it should be. You will be perfected and your focus will be 100% on Me. You won't care, then, who your neighbor is, but I love you and I love to hear from you. Thanks for talking to Me and thanks for being still long enough to listen to my thoughts. I love you, Hollie. It will be worth it all some day. I, too, left my Father - I know your pain. It was worth it - it bought Me YOU! The world needs Me, Hollie, and the only way for them to know Me is if faithful people who know the truth will GO into all the world. Follow in my footsteps - I am your Savior and Friend, Jesus. I will be with you - ALWAYS!"
You know, I really want to be used of the Lord, but I am so human! I am so thankful that God uses ordinary people to do His extraordinary work. He just asks me to be a vessel He can flow through. He doesn't ask me to be extraordinary so He can use me! It isn't always easy, to be sure, but He is always there to enable me to do His bidding. He never asks me to do something He isn't going to give me the strength and ability to accomplish! With the example of His sacrifice and His obedience I can keep on keeping on until His return, even when it involves personal discomfort or inner pain.
Please pray for me, that I will rely on the Lord and rest in Him, allowing Him to use me.
May He come quickly!
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